Trifextra: Week Four

Stories are the secret reservoir of values: 

change the stories individuals or nations live by and tell themselves, 

and you change the individuals and nations.

--Ben Okri

Thanks to those of you who were able to play along for this past week's Trifecta Challenge.  The writing this week was exceptionally good, we thought.  The level of talent among you makes the concept of deciding a top three almost moot.  If we weren't so smitten with the number three, this week we could've easily had a top 22.

But, in keeping with the theme, we did decide on our favorite three.  For top spot, we chose According to Mags' piece The Fire.  It's difficult to create writing that is heartwarming and spooky, yet Mags pulled it off by forcing us to empathize with both the haunted and the ghost.  We promise that we weren't swayed by her use of the number three for the time.  Except for a little.

The familiar whimper of the baby mixed with static from the monitor came like clockwork. It was 3:33 a.m. The woman knew the vent must have shut again. Her husband told her the bolts were loose on the wheel, but she knew better. She knew instinctively that her daughter was cold. She forced her own covers off in a huff, her bare feet the first to be assaulted by the cold air. She moved half awake out of her room and stood in the baby's doorway gathering her strength. The exhaustion and heaviness threatened to overtake her. She was hesitant to enter and lingered with her hands tightly intertwined over her chest. "It's so cold," she murmured as if coming out of a trance. 

He watched her as she stood there, as he had for many nights. The woman moved curtly past him, past the crib and over to the closed heat vent. She rolled the wheel under the ball of her foot as it turned to release the trapped air. Warmth rose up her body, removing the chill. Like a dance they had shared since his arrival, she moved cautiously toward the crib and stood beside him. She laid the thick blanket over her daughter. The baby gave a small residual whimper as she settled securely under the new found warmth. 

The woman gazed with him, in unison, for several minutes. She made her way out of the room with a feeling of insecurity, of denial. He could feel it. He tried to talk with her, but she was not ready. One day she would hear him and his presence would be bearable. "I was unable to save my own children from the heat. I will watch for the fire. I will keep the heat away from her skin. I promise."

He drifted over to the warm, open vent and with all his energy, forced it closed.
"She is safe," he whispered "The heat will not touch her."

Second place goes to Amanda at Last Mom On Earth for her piece entitled Clara at Night.  Amanda's writing is consistently top notch, and this piece is an excellent example of her bottomless talent.  Third place goes to another top scorer: Writing In The Margins, Bursting At The Seams.  Rumor has it that her piece, Main Street, Valentine's Day, was originally more than double this length.  We'd love to see what she cut out but think you'll agree that what she left us with is lovely.

And now on to the weekend challenge.  This weekend we're interested in your ability to stand on the shoulders of giants.  We want you to take a famous story, poem, book, or fable, and retell it in exactly 33 words.  Feel free to change the characters around, twist the plot, interpret it in a new direction, or parody it, but try to leave it still somewhat recognizable.

Please title your response with the name of the work you are re-telling.  Have fun and good luck!

Also, if you haven't already done so, please consider voting for Trifecta for the best new blog of 2011.  Voting closes on the 19th.  Tell a friend, and thank you for your support.